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How to make good dating decisions

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About

Here’s Why Too Much Choice Is Ruining Dating

With serendipidating, you leave your love life up to chance, putting off first date after first date because you believe someone better might be around the corner or on the next swipe. You keep the person around in your matches or make plans for a date that you can conveniently cancel if you match with someone better. When my husband was single, he called it BBD: The couple recognized that the grass is greener where you water it and that no experience in life, especially relationships, comes with certainties or guarantees. Apps have given us almost endless choices of who we can date, and while that may not be a bad thing, the breadth of choices is making us pickier. Some research has suggested that the act of rating and comparing people in advance actually makes them seem less attractive when you do meet. Unfortunately, this pursuit of finding the perfect match often backfires, said Joshua Pompey , an online dating coach based in New York.

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With so many choices in dating, particularly with the rise of online sites and apps, what should make dating easier than ever seems to make it impossibly stressful. We have so many choices that we can't feel satisfied about our choices — or choose at all. The more choices we have, the more difficult choosing can be. As one tweet summed it up, "Sometimes I worry that the love of my life is on a different dating app. Getty An overwhelming number of options can also lead us to muddle our dating criteria. According to one measure , we now spend more time on Tinder than we do on Instagram or Facebook.

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A time in history when you can love incognito, never having to reveal, let alone explain your dating decisions. The concept of buying help to find a suitable mate is not new and goes back way before the Internet. And those people were few and far between. With the rise of apps and sites, along with a plethora of success stories, the embarrassment in your choice of how to find love may now have diminished, but it has in no way disappeared.

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Dating Decisions: Being Proactive in Dating

It seems strange, since modern daters have more choice than any previous generation had. Being single in the digital age, we have options — lots of options. Several eligible bachelors and bachelorettes are only a few swipes away — or a few martinis away at your local bar. Your dates are always too distracted by other options to give you a real shot.

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